It's been a humbling week.
I write my thoughts when I feel inspired, but rarely when I’m feeling strained. Honestly, its rare that I feel strain these day’s because I’ve taught myself some healthy coping mechanisms to help get through this battle. My support system is now only filled with people that care, try to understand, and love me. It has been a wonderful year in terms of self-growth. It has been a hard year in terms of health. I stopped to take care of both my mental and physical health and I have battled with finding that balance.
This week was a testing one.
On Monday, I started a new job. I was excited. The salary was decent, the benefits were fantastic, and the people are kind.
Tuesday came and I started to feel poorly but I wanted to push through the day. I pushed through. I went back to my Airbnb and just felt crummier and crummier. There were way too many tears and my eyes felt like sandpaper. I slept a solid 14 hours the night before this. Why can’t I sleep tonight?
I woke up Wednesday feeling awful and realized I needed to get home A.S.A.P. I called and explained my situation to my employer, and made the two-hour drive home.
This was all happening at the same time that we are selling a home. I realize that we have a showing in the afternoon.
On Thursday, I handed in my laptop with my resignation letter. I spoke with my doctor, identified the problem, found the solution and now we wait for results. This is what taking care of your physical health looks like.
Friday is here, and I’ve gotten a new antibiotic to start and I’ve got enough money to keep my checking account happy.
This was all happening in the span of a week. Five exact business days, if you will.
Holy shit, I’m done ok. I need just a second of pause, please, Mr. Universe.
Thank you, friends, who reached out this week. Thank you, family, for your support.
I don’t always want to bore you all with the tedious details of my day to day but this week in particular felt like one that others could relate to.
I’m breathing deeply again, taking care of my health, hanging out with my family, and just waiting.
Sometimes, all that you can do in life is wait. Put on your “waiting shoes”, and sit with that shit.